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What is the worst possible way to break off a marriage ? With a boyfriend or girlfriend ? A friendship ? If you all would please elaborate thank you

The King of Glory and His kingdom. Psalm 24

The earth is the LORD’s, and all its fullness, The world and those who dwell therein. For He has founded it upon the seas, And established it upon the waters. Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD? Or who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, Nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive blessing from the LORD, And righteousness from the God of his salvation. This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him, Who seek Your face. Selah Lift up your heads, O you gates! And be lifted up, you everlasting doors! And the King of glory shall come in. Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, The LORD mighty in battle. Lift up your heads, O you gates! Lift up, you everlasting doors! And the King of glory shall come in. Who is this King of glory? The LORD of hosts, He is the King of glory. Selah (Psalms 24:1-10 NKJV)

The struggle

When two people realt Care about eachother, they always find away to make it Work no mater How hard it is.


Psalm 22

My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring? O my God, I cry in the daytime, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent. But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel. Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them. They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded. But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people. All they that see me laugh me to scorn: they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying, He trusted on the Lord that he would deliver him: let him deliver him, seeing he delighted in him. But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother’s breasts. I was cast upon thee from the womb: thou art my God from my mother’s belly. Be not far from me; for trouble is near; for there is none to help. Many bulls have compassed me: strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round. They gaped upon me with their mouths, as a ravening and a roaring lion. I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels. My strength is dried up like a potsherd; and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; and thou hast brought me into the dust of death. For dogs have compassed me: the assembly of the wicked have inclosed me: they pierced my hands and my feet. I may tell all my bones: they look and stare upon me. They part my garments among them, and cast lots upon my vesture. But be not thou far from me, O Lord : O my strength, haste thee to help me. Deliver my soul from the sword; my darling from the power of the dog. Save me from the lion’s mouth: for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns. I will declare thy name unto my brethren: in the midst of the congregation will I praise thee. Ye that fear the Lord, praise him; all ye the seed of Jacob, glorify him; and fear him, all ye the seed of Israel. For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard. My praise shall be of thee in the great congregation: I will pay my vows before them that fear him. The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the Lord that seek him: your heart shall live for ever. All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the Lord : and all the kindreds of the nations shall worship before thee.

All they that be fat upon earth shall eat and worship: all they that go down to the dust shall bow before him: and none can keep alive his own soul. A seed shall serve him; it shall be accounted to the Lord for a generation. They shall come, and shall declare his righteousness unto a people that shall be born, that he hath done this. (Psalms 22:1-27, 29-31 KJV)

Psalm 21

The king shall joy in thy strength, O Lord; and in thy salvation how greatly shall he rejoice! Thou hast given him his heart’s desire, and hast not withholden the request of his lips. Selah.

He asked life of thee, and thou gavest it him, even length of days for ever and ever. His glory is great in thy salvation: honour and majesty hast thou laid upon him. For thou hast made him most blessed for ever: thou hast made him exceeding glad with thy countenance. For the king trusteth in the Lord, and through the mercy of the most High he shall not be moved. Thine hand shall find out all thine enemies: thy right hand shall find out those that hate thee. Thou shalt make them as a fiery oven in the time of thine anger: the Lord shall swallow them up in his wrath, and the fire shall devour them. Their fruit shalt thou destroy from the earth, and their seed from among the children of men. For they intended evil against thee: they imagined a mischievous device, which they are not able to perform. Therefore shalt thou make them turn their back, when thou shalt make ready thine arrows upon thy strings against the face of them. Be thou exalted, Lord, in thine own strength: so will we sing and praise thy power. (Psalms 21:1, 2, 4-13 KJV)

Psalm 20

May the LORD answer you in the day of trouble; May the name of the God of Jacob defend you; May He send you help from the sanctuary, And strengthen you out of Zion; May He remember all your offerings, And accept your burnt sacrifice. Selah May He grant you according to your heart’s desire, And fulfill all your purpose. We will rejoice in your salvation, And in the name of our God we will set up our banners! May the LORD fulfill all your petitions. Now I know that the LORD saves His anointed; He will answer him from His holy heaven With the saving strength of His right hand.
Some trust in chariots ,and some in horses ,But we will remember the name of The Lord our God
They have bowed down and fallen; But we have risen and stand upright. Save, LORD! May the King answer us when we call. (Psalms 20:1-6, 8, 9 NKJV)


The person you know as Eli Cruz has been put to rest . I’m new , although i still carry the name , I’ve decided to leave who i was behind. I chose to do that years ago. But that person i was did not want to be left behind and definately did not want to be put to death. Over the years since i made that decision , my old self beat me countless times and ruined me and hurt a person dear to me. No one has ever meant more to me than this person and the monster i was pushed her away. So i killed him. He is dead . I’ve enrolled in seminary school to become a full fledged student and man of God. No more part time man of God it’s all or nothing . No more being a poser. But most of all no more fighting with the wants and desires of my old self because that person is dead and neither myself nor anyone else will resurrect him . So goodbye Eli and don’t come back!

A little bothered

Everybody comes a point in their life when everyhing they’ve known and all that could be depended on has become unknown and the dependable has failed, whether it’s your family or your spouse they will always let you down I’m at a point in my life where I cant afford for anybody to lie and cheat me I will rid myself of you there’s no room for error or people like you in my life. It’s time to put some heads on the chopping block and sever them indefinitely its time to move on with my life no more trying to fit into your mold. I will make my own mold. An authentic mold, a mold that is made in the image of my savior so fakes can’t get in . So I tell you if you’re a phony, or afake , a cheater or a liar stay away from me, i love you and you’re in my prayers i just can’t carry you into where I’m going It was easy to hide behind “Eli cruz” but now that he’s dead there’s nowhere to hide. Remember this what’s done in the dark , is always brought into the light .

METH:the first time i encountered the devil

indexI remember it vividly I was 10 years old it was December and Christmas time. I was excited my parents were going shopping so that meant presents. And that’s pretty much all kids think about! It’s Christmas and my parents usually went overboard and bought my brothers and i everything we had asked for throughout the year. This Christmas was a little different. There was a feeling I couldn’t explain ,my parents weren’t really talking to each other a whole lot my father had been disappearing quite a bit. They weren’t fighting and i knew that because the fights were obvious and still plague my memory today. I had witnessed my father abusing my mother. Violence was a norm in my family. I remember the first time i was punched with a closed fist , i was 3 . In the nose , and it boy did it bleed. 3 years old! I remember the feeling of my dad’s knuckles against my face too well. Growing up i fought a lot and anytime I’d get hit it was a trigger to destroy whoever i was fighting. Sorry about that the memory took me off track and brought back some demons i thought were gone. Like i said this year was different this year and I’ll tell you why right now. It was Saturday they had gone shopping the night before and were finishing that afternoon. My uncle had come to stay with us while my parent went shopping and as soon as they left I went straight for their room! “The Closet ” i said to myself that’s where the present are I knew it. They had a big walk in closet So it would be an easy find. Walking in i looked around and didn’t notice any bags or anything covered as if the hide the presents, there was nothing . I was a bit disappointed and stepped back and tripped Over a nike shoebox and hit my head on the metal breaker box. I proceeded to kick the shoebox. I was pissed. The shoebox had flown across closet and when it landed the contents fell out . The contents were things I’d never seen before , and things I wish I’d never seen. Half gallon Ziploc bag full of yellowish rocks and powder. There were vials full of the yellowish powder. And a lot of cash that i counted ,it was $5000 my dad had been selling dope. That’s what was what was wrong between my parents. although my mom didn’t approve of it she couldn’t say or do anything because my dad was a violent man and the money probably kept her quite as well. When my dad was disappearing, and he had been quite often he would come back with gifts for her and toys and things for us. My dad was constantly working and always made really good money .he worked construction so it really wasn’t it noticeable to me my brothers. Looking back on it i did i notice my father not sleeping and I remember his weight-loss which was , to say the least noticeable . But i knew nothing about meths affects on a human body. At the time and for quite a number of years Vista California was known as the methamphetamine capital of the world . it was where it was being
manufactured and there was a lot of it This is all i can write for tonight . It bringing back some memories that aren’t pleasant but I need to get these things out . if you read this fine if not it’s still getting out i can’t keep it Locked in any longer thank you I will resume asap


Hell on earth: inside the mind of a meth addict.

meth-300x175UnknownHell on earth: inside the mind of a meth addict.

this is an over view of methamphetamine. the shit is what i called it. because its shit it ruins everything around you and it ruins you, it lies to you it has a mind of its own. as i said this is and over view to get you familiar with the effects and how its used , its just the beginning . i was addicted to meth for close to 15 years and it was a chaotic nightmare that i could not seem to shake. I’m going to be very candid and honest and it will shock some to probably never want read my blogs and probably make some hate me. I’m not here to make friends I’m her to try to turn at least one user , abuser , criminal , away from the lifestyle i led for the better part of my life. until i have the time to write God bless and love everyone like its the last time you’ll see them . Drug Addiction Treatment, Pictures & Effects Skip to content METH OVERVIEW TREATMENT VIDEO SPECIAL POPULATIONS METH & KIDS PUBLICATIONS LINKS CONTACT Meth Overview Meth Pipe & BaggieWhat is Meth? Methamphetamine, generally called “speed,” “crystal,” “crank,” “ice,” or “tina,” (“shabu” in the Philippines and “yaba” in Thailand) is a potent psycho-stimulant that can be swallowed in pill format orally or delivered via intranasal, injection, or smoking routes of administration. History of Meth Immediately following World War II, meth was extensively used to reduce fatigue and suppress appetite. Following the war era, meth tablets, referred to as “work pills,” were widely used in Japan. In the late 1960s, meth became known as a dangerous drug that created substantial health threats to users, prompting the drug prevention slogan “speed kills.” Concerns about growing rates of meth use prompted the passage of the 1974 Drug Control Act, which drastically limited the medicinal usage of all amphetamines and virtually eliminated its large scale abuse. During the late 1970s and through the early 1980s, the problem of meth use in the U.S. was, for the most part, limited to several California cities (e.g., San Francisco and San Diego), since the primary manufacturers and suppliers of meth at the time were members of Hells Angels and other motorcycle gangs headquartered in California. In the mid-1980s meth use escalated dramatically in Honolulu as “ice,” a smokable form of the drug that was imported onto the island of Oahu from the Philippines. Meth LabProduction & Distribution of Meth Meth is not difficult to produce. During the 1980s there was a rapid proliferation of large and small clandestine meth laboratories in the southern desert areas of California, including San Diego, Riverside, and San Bernardino counties. Primary precursor chemicals commonly used for manufacturing meth include: ephedrine or pseudoephedrine, hydrochloric or hydriotic acid, ether, and red phosphorus, which were readily available from numerous sources. Since there were few or no regulations on the purchase of these chemicals, the manufacture of meth was a rapidly growing “cottage industry.” However, federal restrictions on the purchase of ephedrine in bulk during the early 1990s resulted in two major consequences for meth production. First, there was a change in the “recipes” used to make meth in the U.S., such that pseudoephedrine replaced ephedrine as the main chemical used in production. As a result of the switch to pseudoephedrine as a precursor chemical for the manufacture of meth, pharmacies and convenience stores around the U.S. became unwitting suppliers of the meth production effort, since pseudoephedrine is the active ingredient in many over-the-counter cold and sinus medicines (e.g., Sudafed and Nyquil). Federal and state regulations, as well as voluntary actions by many of the manufacturers of pseudoephedrine-containing medications, led to packaging modifications, giving rise to blister packaging of all products with pseudoephedrine, which are now sold in limited numbers. Some states have passed legislation that requires that all pseudoephedrine products are moved behind the sales counters in pharmacies and stores, further restricting access, although these political efforts have been slow. These strategies are believed to have increased the difficulty for meth producers to acquire adequate supplies of pseudoephedrine without drawing the attention of retailers and consequently law enforcement officials. Secondly, there was a shift in meth production-based markets from the U.S. to Mexico, where ephedrine was still available with few restrictions. The emergence of large-scale meth production just south of the border in Mexico has had an unforeseen consequence. Mexican drug trafficking organizations with established routes, smuggling strategies, and highly trained personnel for transporting marijuana and heroin into the U.S. have added meth to their “product line,” which introduced meth into medium-size cities in the western mountain region of the U.S. (e.g., Salt Lake City) and the Midwest (e.g., Des Moines). Expansion of meth in these geographic areas has not only impacted the rising and spreading rates of meth-related drug disorders in the U.S., but also increased the power and impact of Mexican trafficking organizations and their ability to subsequently further extend their commerce with meth into the Southeastern U.S. Meth User Before AfterWho Uses Meth? In the 2000s, meth has emerged as one of the most dangerous “homegrown” drugs in the U.S., and its clinical abuse and dependence poses significant public health challenges. Meth has not only been ranked as the most widely used illicit drug in the world after cannabis, it has become the most dominant drug problem in many Western and Midwestern U.S. states, severelhy impacting rural and suburban areas, as well as small- and mid-sized cities. In some states, meth has emerged as the most significant drug problem within the treatment system: treatment admission rates for persons aged 12 years and older have drastically risen over the past decade from 10 per 100,000 in 1992 to 52 per 100,000 in 2002; in 2002, 14 states cited that there were more admissions resulting from meth use than from heroin and cocaine use combined; and recent data reveal that meth admissions increased 10% between 2002 and 2003 (from 105, 754 to 116, 604). Similar trends have been documented in the health care and criminal justice system, as reports from emergency departments and medical examiners involving meth episodes more than doubled during the 1990s, and there was a steady increase in the percent of arrestees testing positive for meth across many geographical areas during this decade. Meth has not only expanded geographically across the country, but also broadened demographically. Before the past decade, meth abuse was common among white males, with particularly extensive use among biker gangs and truck drivers. Currently, meth has become widely used by women, Latinos, gay and bisexual males, arrestees, and increasingly among adolescents. Effects of Meth Although meth has historically been used via intranasal route of administration, in the past decade, smoking meth has become the dominant route of administration, although in some geographic regions over 50% of users inject the drug. The timing and intensity of the “rush” that accompanies the use of meth, which is a result of the release of high levels of dopamine into the brain, depends in part on the method of administration. Specifically, the effect is almost instantaneous when smoked or injected, while it takes approximately 5 minutes after snorting or 20 minutes after oral ingestion. Immediate physiological changes associated with the use of meth are similar to those produced by the fight-or-flight response and include increased blood pressure, body temperature, heart rate, and breathing rate. Negative side effects include high body temperature, stroke, cardiac arrhythmia, stomach cramps, and shaking, as well as increased anxiety, insomnia, aggressive tendencies, paranoia, and hallucinations. Prolonged use of meth may result in a tolerance for the drug and increased use at higher dosage levels, creating dependence. Such continual use of the drug, with little or no sleep, leads to an extremely irritable and paranoid state. Discontinuing use of meth often results in a state of depression, as well as fatigue, anergia, and some types of cognitive impairment that last anywhere from two days to several months. Both short-and long-term health effects have also been documented. As noted, negative consequences of meth abuse range from anxiety and insomnia to convulsions, paranoia, and brain damage, but in addition to the many direct effects on meth users are the indirect impacts on individuals and society. Children of meth abusers are at high risk of neglect and abuse, and pregnant women ’s use of meth can cause growth retardation, premature birth, and developmental disorders in neonates. Finally, extensive evidence indicates that in many western US cities, meth is used extensively by gay males and is frequently associated with high-risk sexual behavior, a major factor in the transmission of HIV. Within this particular group, effective treatment for meth dependence may be one of the most important strategies in reducing the spread of HIV and other associated communicable diseases. This entry was posted in HTML on June 30, 2013. Post navigation← Resources and LinksSpecial Populations → Search for: SITEMAP Meth Inside Out Video Publications and Presentations International Policy Criminal Justice Drug Endangered Children Training Meth Treatment Contact Information Special Populations – Adolescents Special Populations – Men Who Have Sex With Men (MSM) Special Populations – Women and Meth Special Populations Meth Overview Resources and Links StatCounter – Free Web Tracker and Counter Proudly powered by WordPress


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